> “A third place is a space that isn’t home (the first place) or work (the second place). It’s where people go to just exist together.”
> — Ray Oldenburg (Paraphrased and adapted for modern reality)
Let’s get something straight up front. Third places are disappearing (or already disappeared) in America. And no, we’re not talking about some twee idea of a cafe with succulents and overpriced drip coffee. We’re talking about foundational infrastructure—the places that once held the social fabric together.
We’ve designed them out of our neighborhoods, priced them out of our cities, and paved over them in the name of “development.” What’s replaced them? Nothing of substance. Just parking lots, chain retail, and algorithmic dopamine feeds that masquerade as community.
What Is a Third Place (And Why It Matters)
A third place is simple in concept: a social setting where people gather that isn’t home or work. Think:
- Libraries (Please stop closing them, just figure out how to make em’ work, because they will!)
- Coffee shops (actual community hubs, not Starbucks outlets)
- Bookstores with comfy chairs
- Park benches with regulars
- Local bars, barber shops, bike co-ops
- Public plazas, community centers, corner bodegas where people linger
These places foster unplanned conversation, spontaneous collaboration, and yes—real, human connection. They offer a counterbalance to the transactional nature of modern life.
And in the U.S.? We’ve systematically eliminated them.

From Common Ground to Commercialized Nowhere
If you’re in a suburb, odds are your nearest third place is at least a 10-minute drive away—and no, a drive-thru Starbucks doesn’t count.
Urban planning over the last 50 years has systematically pushed out the informal, low-cost, and unbranded spaces in favor of traffic flow, parking capacity, and revenue-per-square-foot. The result?
- Communities where there is no place to gather without spending money
- Spaces that feel sterile, overly regulated, or outright exclusionary
- Entire generations growing up with no idea what a third place even is

The Great Digital Substitution (That Isn’t)
Somewhere along the way, we convinced ourselves that social media was a good enough replacement. That Discord servers could be the new pub. That Reddit threads replaced roundtables. That Instagram comment sections were valid forms of shared experience.
No.
Those are digital holding pens designed to manipulate your attention, not give you context, warmth, or presence. You can’t replace a knowing glance or a random conversation with a stream of hot takes and emojis.
They mimic connection. But they don’t create it.
Case Study: Third Place Commons – Holding the Line
Located in Lake Forest Park, Washington, Third Place Commons is one of the few community anchors that still embodies what a third place should be.
- It’s open to everyone.
- It hosts events like chess nights, concerts, and civic forums.
- It’s tied into a bookstore (shoutout to Third Place Books).
- It isn’t flashy, and that’s the point.
When You Erase the Third Place…
…you erase empathy. You erase frictionless socializing. You erase the chance to bump into people outside of work and curated social events. You erase the “Hey, good to see you again” rhythm that holds communities together.
You replace it with:
- Loneliness
- Economic stagnation
- Fragmented civic life
- Performative connection
And then we act shocked when people are burnt out, disconnected, and angry.
Next Up: The Car That Ate Your Community
In Part 2, I’ll get into how the automobile didn’t just kill walkability—it nuked third places out of existence. We’ll talk about the rise and quiet death of parklets, the shrinking of civic spaces, and how cities like Portland tried (and often failed) to fight the tide with bike co-ops and transit stations.
If this series hits a nerve, good. It’s supposed to.
You can’t rebuild what you don’t even realize is missing.










